Saturday, October 14, 2006
Exams have ended! I’m one happy person. Now I have all the time in the world. And, frankly, it’s getting boring. Well, it’s a NICE boring. An I-can-do-anything-cos-I-have-all-the-time-in-the-world boring. I haven’t gone out much, still. I’m going to keep it that way, thank you. Never was wild about shopping or anything, even though I’m… supposed to be? Nah. I’m just plain not.
It’s great to be able to relax, and not needing to think about exam results anymore. Frankly, the results are unsatisfactory. Especially science. I like science! haha! But, well. All my hard work’s there. Ah.
The end of the year is coming, but I don’t think I’m ready to face a new class, new environment, new classmates. Friendships broken, as they always are. Crumbles under pressure, which is, in this case, distance. The communication’s not there. No more passing of notes or anything. Well, I didn’t pass notes anyhow, but some do, so that’s an example. Like all other “friendships” do, you think there’s a special bond. But then it all comes crashing down when you’re not in the same class anymore. There are a couple of reasons for this, of course.
Your friend might have found new other friends to hang out with, from her own class, perhaps. That sucks. She lets go, while you’re desperately hanging on to what’s not there. She’s given up, but you’re not willing to. True friendship withstands all pressure and all that, as all sorts people say. In books and everything. But is it? Then I haven’t had a true friendship yet, if it’s true. Or maybe I do, just that I haven’t noticed yet. Check, that’s happened to me. And guess what sucked? I was the dumb person hanging on to NOTHING. Yeah, got me down for a while.
You’ve just drifted away. It happens, but it’s okay, this one. Better than the one above. It’s like on mutual agreement, both agree that you want to stop the “friendship”. So you hardly feel anything. Both have their own friends, time to move on. Check, happened to me before too.
I’ve always been a loner anyhow. These stuff happen. I just got used to it. Like, if you wanna go, go. Nobody’s stopping you. Have a good life. Go make new friends. Forget about me, it’s been done before. I’m a forgettable person.
Well, I just want to be someone or no one, or anyone. I don’t know what I want to be. But then again, everyone wants to be loved.
Solitary, perhaps?
